8) Controversial Issue

In this day and age, it seems like the only way for drug addicts to recover and reach a lasting state of sobriety is to turn to religion. Alcoholics Anonymous and many rehabilitation centres claim that the twelve step program is the only way to be successful in recovering from addiction. The second step of the twelve step program is to come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. All recovered addicts that I have had the opportunity to speak to list the Christian Church as the single most important part of their recovery. In James Frey’s memoir “A Million Little Pieces,” James goes against this program by refusing to accept that a higher being is going to make him better.

To an atheist like James Frey, the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is a violation of his beliefs. It wouldn’t make sense for a rehabilitation centre to insist that it’s patients give up their belief in God in order to recover and it shouldn’t happen the other way either. Why should a person have to rely on the strength of a deity to make them better when they are really using their own strength to recover?

James realizes that if he has gotten himself into a bad situation, he is also the only one that can get him out of it. He holds strongly to the belief that if he accepts that God will aid his recovery, that he will relapse and rationalize it by blaming it on God. Believing in God will give him a scapegoat. By removing this possibility of a safety net, James makes a covenant with himself that if he relapses, it will be entirely his fault and he will have only himself to bail him out.

By becoming religious in order to achieve sobriety, does one not simply trade their addiction for drugs with an addiction for god? To James, this is as bad as that thought of beginning to use crack again. He sees recovered addicts who have devoted their lives to God and can no longer even seem to think for themselves. They live their lives by the words of the bible and believe that God has a divine plan for them. To James it is simply unfathomable that a god would subject him to the terrors of addiction as part of a better plan for his life. James believes fully that he has made his own mistakes.

James’ recovery proves that it is possible to rid oneself of drug addiction without turning to religion. While the majority of treatment centres and support groups require belief in a higher being, it is not necessary to change one’s beliefs in order to recover. The reason that so many success stories come out of religion and the church is simply that they make an effort to help people in their time of need. While this is indeed admirable, if someone is able to realize the gravity of their own situation and decides to do take initiative, they are fully capable of becoming sober without forfeiting their beliefs.

10) Book Review

James Frey’s memoir “A Million Little Pieces” recounts his six weeks in a drug rehabilitation centre and gives an overview of the events leading up to it. At the age of 23, James Frey was drinking and using hard drugs every day. He had been an alcoholic for ten years, and a crack addict for three. He was told by doctors at the rehab centre that he could either get himself clean, or die. The book is an honest and gripping account of some of the darkest points in James’ life and is well told. This novel is a fantastic read for anyone who enjoys stories of struggles and triumphs.

Throughout the novel, James uses symbolism in his writing style by emulating his emotions through sentence length, punctuation, and capitalization. When he experiences what he calls “the fury,” he begins to use sentence fragments to represent all the thoughts that are rapidly passing through his head. As well, he frequently capitalizes improper nouns to emphasize points that seemed important at the time. The lacks of quotation marks in the book also give the reader a feel for what it was like during his time in rehab. It is sometimes tough to determine if you are reading internal thoughts or spoken words, which portrays the haziness of his memory of that period.

While there is great controversy over whether or not the book should be considered fiction or non-fiction, James still maintains that the book is written to tell the story of his time in rehab how he remembers it. He admits that at times his memory might not have been accurate, but he is capturing the emotions he experienced, and how rehab felt to him. James also admits that he exaggerated several of the events in the book in order for them to have a stronger effect on the reader. Many sources have made attacks on Frey for being untruthful in calling his novel non-fiction, but whether it is fiction or non-fiction, “A Million Little Pieces” is still an amazingly inspirational book.

James Frey manages to make an unusual character in an exceptional circumstance very relatable to the reader. I felt that I understood James and his situation even though I have never had a similar experience. His use of simple languages and a generally flowing writing style made the book easy to read and I often found that I became completely enveloped in the story. I found myself strongly hoping for the best for James as if he was a close friend.

“A Million Little Pieces” has a little bit of everything for every reader. I found myself laughing, crying, and biting my fingernails in suspense. The book was truly a rollercoaster, just as James’ time spent in rehab was. I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who wants some insight into the mind of an addict.

4) 25 favorite phrases/sentences

1) “I would like a Babar the Elephant book. You have them in the Waiting Room.”

This quote was when James was waiting for his root canal. I liked this quote because it made the character of James a bit more relatable to the reader. He, like anyone would be, is very nervous to be receiving a root canal with no anesthetic. The book is a source of comfort for him because he used to read Babar books as a child.

2) “I follow my usual routine. Crawl to the Bathroom. Vomit. Lie on the floor. Vomit. Lie on the floor. Vomit. Lie on the floor.”

I felt that this quote really helps to illustrate the horrors of detoxing.  It paints a picture that we can all relate to. We’ve all experienced a sickness like this at one point, but for James, this is something that has happened every day of his detox, and this is the least of his worries.

3) “More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone.”

To me, this quote once again makes James a bit more relatable to the reader. It also gives some insight into why he uses drugs. At the same time, it speaks about how drugs have prevented him from ever being close to someone. The quote makes the reader feel sympathy for James.

4) “His God has become his drug and he is high, high as a Motherfucking kite.”

This quote really begins to illustrate James’ objections to the AA 12 steps. He feels that surrendering his life to god is simply trading one addiction for another. He feels that the only way to truly rid himself of his addiction is to do it himself. I find his views on this topic very interesting, as one very rarely hears success stories of people who didn’t turn to god to get clean.

5) “You don’t know me and you don’t know who I am, but I have the resources and I’ll fucking use them. I’ll bring you back again and again and again.”

This conversation occurred just after James tried to run away from the rehab center. I liked this quote because it was one of the first times that someone took an interest in James and legitimately wanted to help him and see him get clean.

6) “Life is hard, Kid, you gotta be harder. You gotta take it on and fight for it and be a fucking man about how you live it.”

I thought that this quote had a lot of truth to it. It really made sense to me because I believe that you have to fight to get what you want in life. This was also being said by a friend of James to help him stay positive in his struggles, and was a sign that he was opening up to others.

7) “Can’t stop. Have to stop. Can’t stop. Pain. Gutter. Priest. Fuck God. Her. Fuck her. Pipe. Torch. Bottle. Can’t Stop.”

I found this quote very interesting because it is the first time that the reader is shown what “the fury” that James describes is like. He uses a stream of consciousness writing style to show the reader the thoughts that are flashing through his head in rapid succession.

8) ”I saw a man cry yesterday. I’ve seen men cry before, but I usually think it’s because they’re weak or pathetic. The man who cried yesterday cried because he was strong and I admired his strength.”

I really like this quote from the novel because it really shows a major turning point for James. He is finally allowing himself to feel compassion for others and is becoming more accepting of the idea of getting clean in rehab.

9) “Open mind, empty mind. I wonder if they’re the same thing.”

I found this quote very interesting because James is talking about the fact that when you surrender yourself to getting clean, you open your mind up for people to fill with their own beliefs and ideas and you lose the ability to think for yourself.

10) “I am broken. Broken.”

This quote was very important to the story because it is the first real interaction James has with Lilly. She finds him in the woods when “the fury” has overcome him and she manages to calm him down.

11) “The words and the words together and the meaning and the context are simple so simple and basic so basic and true and that is all that matters true.”

I enjoyed this quote because it talks about the time that James discovered the ability of his book “Tao Te Ching” to calm him down when he becomes angry or upset.

12) “Screaming, long and loud and hideous, like a Child being burned alive.”

This quote was very powerful because it came at the very beginning of a chapter with no context. We later find out that it was a patient who returned and was on drugs who was screaming.

13) “The lecture starts and it’s about the Fifth Step of the almighty Twelve. It is being given by a Catholic Priest. I don’t listen to it. I sit and I stare across the Lecture Hall. I sit and I stare at Lilly.”

I thought that this quote really summed up a significant portion of the book. James continues to refuse to submit to a got that he doesn’t believe in while his infatuation for Lilly grows stronger.

14) “In the face of surviving long enough to survive in the long term, there is no goal that comes to mind that means anything to me. I could write Survive, but I would rather hold that word in my heart than write it on some fucking board.”

This quote to me really showed that James was starting to take his rehabilitation more seriously. While he still doesn’t agree with the twelve steps and doesn’t always follow the rule, he does have a desire deep within to be clean.

15) “It is all the same, Young Man. Take it and let it be.”

This quote came at the end of a chapter and seemed to reflect James’ acceptance of what had happened in his life. He had a very emotional day and was able to accept it and move on.

16) “It is the replacement of one addiction with another, and if I’m gonna be Addicted to something, it’s gonna be something I like.”

This quote made a lot of sense to me because James is discussing why he doesn’t want to submit to a higher being. He feels that religion is simply a replacement addiction. He talks about the glazed over look a recovered addict gets when they talk about God, and I have personally seen it, so I could really understand what James was talking about.

17) “The burrito is stuffed with eggs, bacon, cheese and small clumps of unidentifiable vegetables. It is disgusting but I eat it anyway. I’d like to eat a hundred of them.”

This was something that I found very interesting in the book. When James was experiencing the fury or was having strong urges to use, he’d substitute food for drugs, often eating to the point of making himself sick.

18) “If you need to, it’s okay if you smoke around us.”

“I smile. This simple gesture breaks my heart. Thank you.”

This quote symbolized a major turning point in the family program for James. His parents had come to visit and all he felt was anger and resentment towards them. At first they are opposed to him smoking cigarettes but decide to let him if it helps. This gesture really strikes a chord with James and he feels a sense of compassion towards his parents.

19) “With the thumb and forefinger of my right hand, I start pulling at the nail of the second toe of my left foot. I know it’s sick, a sick fucking symptom of an infected mind, but I do it anyway.”

This was one of the more disturbing and graphic passages of the book. It describes, in detail, James pulling off his own toenail in order to subdue the fury. I thought the passage was very effective in getting the feeling of the fury across.

20) “She steps forward. I put my arms around her. I am immediately uncomfortable and I immediately feel as if I’m somewhere I don’t belong.”

This passage described James hugging his mother. It does a very effective job of illustrating the strained relationship that they have. James wants to hug and comfort his mother, but feels very uncomfortable doing so.

21) “We hold each other. We are a Family. Though I have been their child for twenty-three years, we have never been a family. We are now.”

I really enjoyed this passage because it depicts a moment when James and his parents, for the first time in their lives, are able to relate to and understand each other. From this point onwards, James and his parents have a much better relationship.

22) “Good, ‘cause you’ll regret it if you fuck this up with them. Family is the most important thing you’ll ever have.”

This quote came from James’ friend Leonard, talking about the Family program. It was a very strong quote because Leonard never had a strong relationship with his parents and became almost entirely independent at a young age.

23) “I look away for a moment and the Fury flares. As has been the case throughout my life, my Father’s job comes first before everything always.”

I found this quote interesting because it really begins to give the reader some insight into the causes of James’ addictions. He has always felt a sense of resentment towards his father for being so busy with work and not having time for him.

24) “In here, anything resembling normalcy is coveted.”

I really enjoyed this passage of the book as it goes on to describe how the recovering addicts in the center find any way to make a connection with the normal outside world and feel normal, if only for a moment.

25) “You said last night you were going to prove me wrong. Do it. Prove me wrong.”

This is probably my favorite part of the entire book because it is truly the moment when James and the clinic staff begin to understand each other. While the staff don’t fully condone James’ plan, they want to see him try because they know that he won’t get clean by any rules other than his own.

7) Theme Quote

“In here, anything resembling normalcy is coveted. The phone is always busy because men want to be in contact with the normal outside world. Letters are eagerly awaited and opened because they are physical contact with it.” – pg. 332

This quote really embodies the theme of the book because it talks about the singular goal of every person in the rehab center. Every single person in the center simply wants to live a normal life like anyone else, free of drugs. People relish the opportunity to feel like a part of this life if only for a moment. The quote goes on to talk about people reading newspapers and magazines over and over to get a glimpse of normal life in the real world. At the same time, the quote makes the real world sound so far away, and for many in the center, it is. Normalcy is not easily come by. People are held by the grip of their addictions and are struggling to get out of its hold. When they came in, they were so far from normal, and reading newspapers or making phone calls seems like a step in the right direction, making some minor contact with the rest of the world. It’s a starting place for the rest of their lives.

5) 3 Truths

1) People are solely responsible for their own actions.

Throughout the book, James insists that he is responsible for his problems and that he is the only one that can fix them. Even when told to rely on a higher power, and put some of the responsibility into a higher power, he insists that it is his responsibility and not that of a deity to save him.

2) Good parents will always love their children.

When James’ parents come to participate in the family program at the rehab centre, James has to sit down with them and admit everything he has done. He tells them about how he managed to hide his drug use from them for so many years. He tells them about the crimes he has committed and the fact that he might face substantial Jail time. This sort of thing would be very difficult to hear from one’s own child but James’ parents support him. They are upset to hear all the things he has done, but they still love him and want what is best for him.

3) People have incredible strength when fighting for loved ones.

When Lilly runs away, James goes after her. He finds out that she has gone to a drug house down the street and decides to go in to rescue her. For a recovering addict, the presence of the drugs is almost unbearable. James wants more than anything to sit down and join the addicts in the house, but knows that he would then be giving up on Lilly. He fights the urges and manages to get Lilly out of the house. Later, Lincoln comments on how brave and strong James had been. He said that for a recovering addict, being in the presence of drugs and not using them takes an incredible strength that most people don’t have.

6) Two Opposite Words

Love

Hate

Lilly: Lilly is a truly loving person. She wants what is best for James and her. She loves her family and can go to her grandma for support. James’ Parents: James’ parents want to help their son in any way possible. He has made some major mistakes in his life and they are quick to forgive him and help him get back on the track to sobriety. James: James is, at times, very loving. He loves Lilly with all his heart and despite their strained relationship, he truly loves his parents. James and Lincoln: After Lilly runs away, James and Lincoln sit down and discuss James’ progress. They both gain a much better understanding of each other and come to an agreement of how to move forward. Miles: Miles, while he’s made some bad decisions in life, seems to truly love others. He is always there for James when he is struggling. He loves his family and wants to get clean to make their lives better.

James: James can often be a very angry, hate filled person. He hates people who try to get into his way and can often have violent outbursts against such people. Crack: The drug has caused much hatred in James’ life. He grows to hate the effect that the drug has and the strong hold it has on him. As well, when on the drug, he is often hate filled and angry. James and Lincoln: At the beginning of the book, James hates Lincoln and the way he tries to force him to conform to the rules. Lincoln hates James for refusing to try using a system that has been proven to help people to get sober. The Fury: During his time in rehab, James identifies “the fury” as the root cause of his addiction. He becomes incredibly angry and panicked and gets driven to use drugs. James and the 12 steps: James becomes very frustrated and angry any time he is told that he can only get clean by using the AA 12 steps. By using the 12 steps, he would have to surrender to a higher being that he doesn’t believe in. He believes that he is the only one that can get himself clean.

3) Context, Time Period, and Location

The majority of "A Million Little Pieces" takes place in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. The exact location of the center is not given. The center is described as being very sterile and white. Frey speaks of lights in the corridors that remain on at all hours of the day and night. This adds to the concept that the center never really sleeps. Frey also talks about hearing screams coming from other patients' rooms. The time frame of the novel is not stated, as it is of no real relevance to the story. At times, James is unsure of how time passes, and I feel that the unstated time frame also adds to the effect of the chaos that has taken over his life. All that we really know about the time frame is that James spent his time at the center during winter. Several references to the cold of winter, and ice on the lake tell us this. The lack of knowledge of time frame and given description of the rehab center really work to create a sense of how James Frey experienced his time in rehab.