1) “I would like a Babar the Elephant book. You have them in the Waiting Room.”
This quote was when James was waiting for his root canal. I liked this quote because it made the character of James a bit more relatable to the reader. He, like anyone would be, is very nervous to be receiving a root canal with no anesthetic. The book is a source of comfort for him because he used to read Babar books as a child.
2) “I follow my usual routine. Crawl to the Bathroom. Vomit. Lie on the floor. Vomit. Lie on the floor. Vomit. Lie on the floor.”
I felt that this quote really helps to illustrate the horrors of detoxing. It paints a picture that we can all relate to. We’ve all experienced a sickness like this at one point, but for James, this is something that has happened every day of his detox, and this is the least of his worries.
3) “More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone.”
To me, this quote once again makes James a bit more relatable to the reader. It also gives some insight into why he uses drugs. At the same time, it speaks about how drugs have prevented him from ever being close to someone. The quote makes the reader feel sympathy for James.
4) “His God has become his drug and he is high, high as a Motherfucking kite.”
This quote really begins to illustrate James’ objections to the AA 12 steps. He feels that surrendering his life to god is simply trading one addiction for another. He feels that the only way to truly rid himself of his addiction is to do it himself. I find his views on this topic very interesting, as one very rarely hears success stories of people who didn’t turn to god to get clean.
5) “You don’t know me and you don’t know who I am, but I have the resources and I’ll fucking use them. I’ll bring you back again and again and again.”
This conversation occurred just after James tried to run away from the rehab center. I liked this quote because it was one of the first times that someone took an interest in James and legitimately wanted to help him and see him get clean.
6) “Life is hard, Kid, you gotta be harder. You gotta take it on and fight for it and be a fucking man about how you live it.”
I thought that this quote had a lot of truth to it. It really made sense to me because I believe that you have to fight to get what you want in life. This was also being said by a friend of James to help him stay positive in his struggles, and was a sign that he was opening up to others.
7) “Can’t stop. Have to stop. Can’t stop. Pain. Gutter. Priest. Fuck God. Her. Fuck her. Pipe. Torch. Bottle. Can’t Stop.”
I found this quote very interesting because it is the first time that the reader is shown what “the fury” that James describes is like. He uses a stream of consciousness writing style to show the reader the thoughts that are flashing through his head in rapid succession.
8) ”I saw a man cry yesterday. I’ve seen men cry before, but I usually think it’s because they’re weak or pathetic. The man who cried yesterday cried because he was strong and I admired his strength.”
I really like this quote from the novel because it really shows a major turning point for James. He is finally allowing himself to feel compassion for others and is becoming more accepting of the idea of getting clean in rehab.
9) “Open mind, empty mind. I wonder if they’re the same thing.”
I found this quote very interesting because James is talking about the fact that when you surrender yourself to getting clean, you open your mind up for people to fill with their own beliefs and ideas and you lose the ability to think for yourself.
10) “I am broken. Broken.”
This quote was very important to the story because it is the first real interaction James has with Lilly. She finds him in the woods when “the fury” has overcome him and she manages to calm him down.
11) “The words and the words together and the meaning and the context are simple so simple and basic so basic and true and that is all that matters true.”
I enjoyed this quote because it talks about the time that James discovered the ability of his book “Tao Te Ching” to calm him down when he becomes angry or upset.
12) “Screaming, long and loud and hideous, like a Child being burned alive.”
This quote was very powerful because it came at the very beginning of a chapter with no context. We later find out that it was a patient who returned and was on drugs who was screaming.
13) “The lecture starts and it’s about the Fifth Step of the almighty Twelve. It is being given by a Catholic Priest. I don’t listen to it. I sit and I stare across the Lecture Hall. I sit and I stare at Lilly.”
I thought that this quote really summed up a significant portion of the book. James continues to refuse to submit to a got that he doesn’t believe in while his infatuation for Lilly grows stronger.
14) “In the face of surviving long enough to survive in the long term, there is no goal that comes to mind that means anything to me. I could write Survive, but I would rather hold that word in my heart than write it on some fucking board.”
This quote to me really showed that James was starting to take his rehabilitation more seriously. While he still doesn’t agree with the twelve steps and doesn’t always follow the rule, he does have a desire deep within to be clean.
15) “It is all the same, Young Man. Take it and let it be.”
This quote came at the end of a chapter and seemed to reflect James’ acceptance of what had happened in his life. He had a very emotional day and was able to accept it and move on.
16) “It is the replacement of one addiction with another, and if I’m gonna be Addicted to something, it’s gonna be something I like.”
This quote made a lot of sense to me because James is discussing why he doesn’t want to submit to a higher being. He feels that religion is simply a replacement addiction. He talks about the glazed over look a recovered addict gets when they talk about God, and I have personally seen it, so I could really understand what James was talking about.
17) “The burrito is stuffed with eggs, bacon, cheese and small clumps of unidentifiable vegetables. It is disgusting but I eat it anyway. I’d like to eat a hundred of them.”
This was something that I found very interesting in the book. When James was experiencing the fury or was having strong urges to use, he’d substitute food for drugs, often eating to the point of making himself sick.
18) “If you need to, it’s okay if you smoke around us.”
“I smile. This simple gesture breaks my heart. Thank you.”
This quote symbolized a major turning point in the family program for James. His parents had come to visit and all he felt was anger and resentment towards them. At first they are opposed to him smoking cigarettes but decide to let him if it helps. This gesture really strikes a chord with James and he feels a sense of compassion towards his parents.
19) “With the thumb and forefinger of my right hand, I start pulling at the nail of the second toe of my left foot. I know it’s sick, a sick fucking symptom of an infected mind, but I do it anyway.”
This was one of the more disturbing and graphic passages of the book. It describes, in detail, James pulling off his own toenail in order to subdue the fury. I thought the passage was very effective in getting the feeling of the fury across.
20) “She steps forward. I put my arms around her. I am immediately uncomfortable and I immediately feel as if I’m somewhere I don’t belong.”
This passage described James hugging his mother. It does a very effective job of illustrating the strained relationship that they have. James wants to hug and comfort his mother, but feels very uncomfortable doing so.
21) “We hold each other. We are a Family. Though I have been their child for twenty-three years, we have never been a family. We are now.”
I really enjoyed this passage because it depicts a moment when James and his parents, for the first time in their lives, are able to relate to and understand each other. From this point onwards, James and his parents have a much better relationship.
22) “Good, ‘cause you’ll regret it if you fuck this up with them. Family is the most important thing you’ll ever have.”
This quote came from James’ friend Leonard, talking about the Family program. It was a very strong quote because Leonard never had a strong relationship with his parents and became almost entirely independent at a young age.
23) “I look away for a moment and the Fury flares. As has been the case throughout my life, my Father’s job comes first before everything always.”
I found this quote interesting because it really begins to give the reader some insight into the causes of James’ addictions. He has always felt a sense of resentment towards his father for being so busy with work and not having time for him.
24) “In here, anything resembling normalcy is coveted.”
I really enjoyed this passage of the book as it goes on to describe how the recovering addicts in the center find any way to make a connection with the normal outside world and feel normal, if only for a moment.
25) “You said last night you were going to prove me wrong. Do it. Prove me wrong.”
This is probably my favorite part of the entire book because it is truly the moment when James and the clinic staff begin to understand each other. While the staff don’t fully condone James’ plan, they want to see him try because they know that he won’t get clean by any rules other than his own.
